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Thread: One-Liners - Short Jokes

  1. #91
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    The stock broker was nervous his first day in prison because his cellmate looked like a tough customer. "Don't worry," the gruff fellow said, "I'm in for a white-collar crime, too."

    "Is that right?" The stock broker said, relieved.

    "Yeah," said the prisoner, "I killed a priest."

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    Law Professor: Which is the most important Law of Finance for Starting a New Business?

    Student: Father-in-Law!

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    A man goes to the dentist and says, "My teeth are kind of yellow, what do you recommend?"

    The dentist replies, "A brown tie!"

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    How did the farmer find his wife?

    He tractor down
    jammom likes this.

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    During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?"

    "Yes," was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire in three visits!"

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    A cop pulled me over and saids, "Papers."
    I turned to him and said, "Scissors. I win!" and then drove away.

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    Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?"

    Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is already coming back."

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    Why were hurricanes usually named after women?

    Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.

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    “Why don't some couples go to the gym?
    - Because some relationships don't work out.”

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    Where are the worst hotels? A:

    Where are the worst hotels? A: Texas, the lone star state.

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