Doctor! Doctor!

[Vineyardimporters]

Doctor! Doctor! I have a cough?
Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough

Doctor: Nurse, how's the little boy doing, that swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet.

Patient walks into a doctor's office.
Doctor, people always ignore me.
Doctor says Next!

The guy asks the Doctor, If I give up beer, women, and music, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

The nurse tells the Doctor that there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor replies: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.

How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes? Pull down their jeans (genes)!

Doctors'(MD) Handshakes
Cardiologist - Left hand on your wrist, feels pulse
Dermatologist - Wears latex gloves
Gynecologist - Index & middle fingers extended
Pediatrician - Thumb extended
Psychiatrist - Grasps his own hand

What has thick glasses and a wet nose?
A Shortsighted gynecologist!

Did you hear about the latest birth control pill for men?
You take it the day after. It changes your "blood type".
Pearl Williams

Doctors are whippersnappers in ironed white coats,
who spy up your rectum and look down your throats,
and press you and poke you with sterilized tools,
and stab at solutions that pacify fools.
I used to revere them and do what they said
till I learned what they learned on was already dead.
Gilda Radner 1986