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Thread: Thoughts To Ponder

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    SadMan's Avatar
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    Smile Thoughts To Ponder

    1. Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?

    2. Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

    3. What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?

    4. Do people in prison celebrate Halloween? If so, how?

    5. Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?

    6. Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?

    7. Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

    8. Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?

    9. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

    10. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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    Smile Thoughts To Ponder - Part 2

    1. Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

    2. If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

    3. Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?

    4. Do you yawn in your sleep?

    5. If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take thier nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?

    6. How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

    7. Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

    8. Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

    9. How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

    10. If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
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    Wink Part #3

    1. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    3. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    4. What disease did cured ham actually have?

    5. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    6. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

    7. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    8. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

    9. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    10. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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    This is why I love visiting this forum! Thanks man.

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    Cool Part #4

    Thoughts To Ponder

    1. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    2. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    3. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    4. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    5. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    6. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    7. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    8. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

    10. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

    11. I thought about how my mother fed me with a tiny spoon and fork, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

    12. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

    13. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose?

    14. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

    15. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

    16. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

    17. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

    18. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

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    1. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

    2. Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

    3. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

    4. Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

    5.Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?

    6. If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?

    7. Do prison buses have emergency exits?

    8. Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?

    9. When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

    10. If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

    11. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

    12. If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

    13. If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

    14. Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

    15. If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

    16. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    17. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

    18. Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

    19. What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?

    20. If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

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    Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
    Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
    Why do we feel blue? And what colour does a smurf feel when they are down?
    What does OK actually mean?
    If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
    Why are things typed up but written down?
    If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
    If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?
    Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing?
    In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
    Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're biscuits?
    If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50 mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?

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    1. Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

    2. Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.

    3. If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

    4. When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

    5. Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

    6. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

    7. Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

    8. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

    9. If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

    10. Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?

    11. Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?

    12. If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

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    Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

    Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

    Why do we feel blue? And what colour does a smurf feel when they are down?

    What does OK actually mean?

    If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

    Why are things typed up but written down?

    If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

    If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

    Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing?

    In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

    Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're biscuits?

    If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50 mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?

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    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?

    Just one letter makes all the difference between here and there?

    If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?

    If you crossed a chicken with a zebra would you get a four-legged chicken with its own barcode?

    If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?

    Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?

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