Wars A Comin'

[labbie48]

President Obama was in the Oval Office when
his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama"
a heavily accented southern voice said.
"This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish
Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell ya'll
that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments
calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom,
my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and
the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop.
That makes eight or maybe nine depending if
Bump can close the store.

Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that
I have one million men in my army waiting to move
on my command."

"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again.
"Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?"
Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
my brother Mike's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy,
that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel
carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day.
"President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that
we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack.
"Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves
down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish,
greens and pie and come to realize that there's just
no way we can feed that many prisoners."