Italian on holiday

[SadMan]

Last summer I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress, "I wanna two pissa toast."

She bring me only one piss.

I tella her I wanna two piss. She say, "Go to toilet."

I say, "You no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate."

She say, "You betta no piss on plate."

Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana tell me, "Fa cough!" I don't even know man ana he tella me "Fa cough!"

Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, "You no understand, I wanna fock on table."

She say, "You betta not fock on table."

So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go to toilet. So, I say, "You no understand, I wanna sheet on bed."

He say, "You betta not sheet on bed."

I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say, "Peace to you."

I say, "Peace on you too!"

I think I go back to Italy.