The Law of Common Sense:
Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Reality:
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Self Sacrifice:
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

The Law of Volunteering:
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

The Law of Avoiding Oversell:
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of Motivation:
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Boob's Law:
You always find something in the last place you look.

Weiler's Law:
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Law of Probable Dispersal:
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Law of Volunteer Labor:
People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway's Law:
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Iron Law of Distribution:
Them that has, gets.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
There is always one more bug.

Law of Drunkenness:
You can't fall off the floor.

Heller's Law:
The first myth of management is that it exists.

Osborne's Law:
Variables won't; constants aren't.

Weinberg's Second Law:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.