"Taxing" Situations

TAXING SITUATION.......


A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend
and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in
the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said.
"We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax
bill, and blue after we pay them."

"The same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."



VISITING THE IRS

A man walked into the tax collector's office and sat down and
smiled at everyone. "May I help you?" said the clerk in charge.

"No," said the man. "I just wanted to meet the people I have
been working for all these years."


TAX TIME

Rabbi Schwartz answers his phone.

"Hello, is this Rabbi Schwartz?"

"It is"

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"

"I can."

"Do you know a Sam Cohen?"

"I do."

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is."

"Did he donate $10,000?"

"He will."




DEDUCTION

A stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He
showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records,
then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a
tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

"Why would you say that?" asked the broker.

"Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three
returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."





DELI

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his
tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a
dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days
a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these
deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you -- we also
deliver."