Why were the horses so happy?
Because they lived in a stable environment.
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Why were the horses so happy?
Because they lived in a stable environment.
I lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the time.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
The trouble with a three-day weekend is that it turns Tuesday into Monday.
You think this is a free country until you move into a subdivision with a homeowners' association.
If you want a new idea, read an old book.
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day?
Happy Independence Day!
ME: What does "competitive salary" mean?
BOSS: It means your salary will be competing with your bills.
What did one toilet paper roll say to the other toilet paper roll?
People keep "ripping me off"!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
What's the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?
One tells time, the other wastes time.
My boss calls me "the computer"...
Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes...
They did unspeakable things to him!