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The stock broker was nervous his first day in prison because his cellmate looked like a tough customer. "Don't worry," the gruff fellow said, "I'm in for a white-collar crime, too."
"Is that right?" The stock broker said, relieved.
"Yeah," said the prisoner, "I killed a priest."
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Law Professor: Which is the most important Law of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
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A man goes to the dentist and says, "My teeth are kind of yellow, what do you recommend?"
The dentist replies, "A brown tie!"
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How did the farmer find his wife?
He tractor down
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During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?"
"Yes," was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire in three visits!"
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A cop pulled me over and saids, "Papers."
I turned to him and said, "Scissors. I win!" and then drove away.
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Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. "And where do you think you are going?"
Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as everyone else is already coming back."
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Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car.
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“Why don't some couples go to the gym?
- Because some relationships don't work out.”
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Where are the worst hotels? A:
Where are the worst hotels? A: Texas, the lone star state.