Q: If you had one cricket ball in one hand and another cricket ball in your other hand, what would you have?

A: A bloody big cricket.

Why do blondes have one more brain cell than cows?

So when you pull on a blonde's tit, she doesn't s**t on the floor.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: A stick.

Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?

A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She sticks it in the microwave.

Most people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down.

The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house.
"That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check...

Can I dock my rocket at your space station?

My unit would like to explore your crater.

Q: What's it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?

A: Bestiality.

They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: 'The salt was low.' 'Pick up bread. We be back.' Grease all over my stove -- they cooked and left the best chicken...

The cops must be after you because it's illegal to look that good.

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do...

I am living large and taking charge ;)
I get ignored so much that my nickname should be Terms And Conditions.
Love me, hate me - either way you're thinking of me!
If time is money I am...