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  1. Thread: Blonde men

    by labbie48
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    1,080

    Blonde men

    A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos. "The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?...
  2. Thread: Breathalyzer

    by labbie48
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    1,316

    Breathalyzer

    An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car.
    As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says,...
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    No, I just lay there

    A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand, "I found this while cleaning your room today.... Are you sexually active?" To which the daughter replies,
    "No, I just lay there."
  4. Thread: Mississippi

    by labbie48
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    905

    Mississippi

    TWO ITALIANS ON A BUS ! NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH!
    A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.
    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
    The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
    but...
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    Two black eyes

    Jack was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes. His workmates were understandably curious: "Jack, what happened to you?!?" "It was the darnedest thing!
    I was at church yesterday, and...
  6. Thread: Brick wall

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    908

    Brick wall

    A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long,long time.
    So she went to check it out.She went to the...
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    A man walks into a bar

    A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
    He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the...
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    WalMart Employment Questionnaire

    Wal*Mart Employment Questionnaire
    Jennifer, a manager at WalMart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were...
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    bungee-jumping

    Two guys are bungee-jumping one day.
    The first guy says to the second.
    "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
    The second guy thinks this is a...
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    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
    He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place.
    The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some...
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    Alligator shoes

    A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.
    “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager.
    “$200? – he replied.
    “That’s too...
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    This ain't my wife

    A guy thought his wife was cheating on him.
    So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her.
    By following her he found out she was working in a 'fun house'.
    The guy says...
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    There is nothing wrong with you

    The husband was a bit embarrassed, and told the doctor he had
    trouble getting an erection with his wife, and that she was getting frustrated.
    The doc checked the man's blood pressure, and other...
  14. Thread: Poor Old fool

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    1,146

    Poor Old fool

    “Poor Old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man trying to fish in a puddle of water outside of the bar. He decided to invite the old man inside for a drink.

    As they sipped their...
  15. Hints on when you can tell it is not going to be a good day:

    Hints on when you can tell it is not going to be a good day:
    - You wake up face down on the pavement.
    - You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
    - You call Suicide Prevention and they put...
  16. Thread: Uncle George

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    1,078

    Uncle George

    Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard.
    Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
    When his Dad came home...
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    State Capitals

    There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
    One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
    She spent the whole next...
  18. Thread: In Labor

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    880

    In Labor

    Back in the woods, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the...
  19. Thread: Roping

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    856

    Roping

    One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon.
    While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.
    The new bride asks,...
  20. Thread: Mr. Schwartz

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    961

    Mr. Schwartz

    A mortician was working late one night examining dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried.
    As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he was amazed. Schwartz...
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    I hear someone coming

    A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
    While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to...
  22. Thread: 51 Days

    by labbie48
    Replies
    0
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    947

    51 Days

    The bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes.
    They head up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses,...
  23. Thread: Therapist

    by labbie48
    Replies
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    901

    Therapist

    Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to a sex therapist who promised to only take their case if he knew he could help them.
    After hours of tests, he agreed he could help.
    He told them to stop at the store on...
  24. Thread: Get in line

    by labbie48
    Replies
    0
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    891

    Get in line

    A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
    A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse...
  25. Thread: Farm Accident

    by labbie48
    Replies
    0
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    890

    Farm Accident

    It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner...
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