The next phase of my life has begun

[Raeja]

Took my granddaughter to UW-Madison Pediatric Plastic Surgery. They were going to see if ear molds would help her bent in ears. I thought it would be something horrible. It was very refreshing to see it was not invasive. All they did was cut some tiny splints and used a type of glue they can use on skin to hold them and then tape her ears down. Tape job looks really good and looks like a masterpiece of art the way it is done.

Meanwhile Don's heart is finally calming down. He has an appointment on Tuesday at UW-Madison with a Head and Neck Specialist. Once we get the consultation, once again we will have to wait for pre-approval for surgery and plastic surgery. He will probably need radiation after that. Meanwhile his lip is getting bigger and harder to look at. Some areas are turning purple now. I so hate insurance companies with all their rules when a life is in jeopardy.

[Raeja]

Don is miserable and not really eating, but can't blame him with how large his lower lip is. We went to the UW-Hospital and clinics on Tuesday morning shortly after I got off work. Thank Goodness for google maps. We lucked out and got a handicap parking spot in the parking garage, right across the way from the main entrance. Loved it. Doctor looked at his lip and tried to explain the two surgical options that might be done. They took a picture from front and side so it could be discussed with the medical doctors team. Things are moving quickly. We were told we would be contacted within 7-10 days as to the appointment. His lip is considered a level 2 meaning needs to be done within 1-4 weeks. They called yesterday and gave the option of Nov 7 or Dec 18. Don took the Nov 7. We won't know the time of the surgery until the day before. He has a phone meeting today as to the procedure and what needs to be done. I have to make a pre-op appointment with his primary doctor. The cancer has affected 3 of his lymph nodes and they will also have to be removed. Radiation is likely but we will not jump on that right away if it comes to that. We will wait to be sure everything is gone or not first.

Stopped by his cousin Tami and her husband yesterday morning to drop off a Old Style sign that we have been meaning to give Ron. Tami's cancer is going to take her out this time. She is on oxygen, has a hospital bed in the living room and is not much more than a skeleton now. IT is so sad to see her this way and I pray, this does not happen to Don. Different types of cancer but Cancer is Cancer.

[Raeja]

Don is having such a hard time eating anything now. The black stuff on his lip is constantly falling off.

I decided to try to make a "Leftover soup". I took a bunch of stuff out of the freezer and cut it in small pieces ~ (all leftovers) Roast Beef, cooked potatoes and carrots that I froze, and beef base. I also added leftover pork base, what was left in my box of chicken broth, chopped onion and celery, and the Double Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. Smells good and has a good taste. I guess we shall see if this is something he can eat. Stuff is cut so small that there is almost no chewing involved. Fingers crossed

[Raeja]

Just about had it with all the "insurance's crap". has enough heart meds to get him thru Sunday night. His primary doctor was suppose to take care of it on Wednesday. He is not in office on Thursday or Friday. Called Friday and left a message for one of the other nurses to take care of. Got tired of waiting about 4 hours and called cardiologist. He and his nurse are out on Friday but spoke with another nurse who took action. Long story short, Don misunderstood what Pharmacy tech told him and he thought he was not going to get it. Big NO NO to wake me up but he did. I called and spoke with Tech. She explained what he was not understanding. I sent him a text from my bedroom to his phone on the porch. He got a message that it was cleared and ok'd. Went today. He came out (sorry can't use the words he said). I am furious with all the crap I am dealing with and decided to run to Kwik Trip and go home and think about it. I called back. Funny how the tech I talked to fixed it right away and asked if we were coming in. I told her we were just there. She was surprised. I told her that "I" get off work at 7am and "I" will be there at 9 and there better not be anymore games. I told them exactly what the surgery would detail. I also mentioned that if this was not straightened out and Don died on the operating table because he did not have his heart meds there would be alot of heads rolling. I should have not told Don that is what I said but it is too late to take it back now. We shall see what transpires when "I" walk in for his meds. They won't like me if I don't get them. I have dates as to when meds were up'd and to what dosage. I don't play games with peoples health and lives.

[Raeja]

Yesterday I lived on red Twizzlers and a bottle of powerade. Very stressful, intense day. They discovered that Don has Atrial Fibrillation. I was pissed at the Anesthesiologist. The surgery team was ready to move forward with surgery and felt comfortable it all could be controlled. He on the other hand was sounding like he was trying to talk Don out of it and Don was willing to wait 2 weeks to get his heart straightened out. They gave us time to think about it. I told Don that the cancer would be more advanced and if it did actually get into the lymph nodes, it is very possible that the cancer could not be cured. Thank God that Dr. Hartig came in after Don was going to make his decision. He managed to get the outside reports that he did not have access to because they were not associated/affiliated with the health system. He said that it would not matter if we waited according to those documents. He also stated that it could be another 3+ weeks to get into surgery and they did not have that kind of time. They got all the cancer out from his lower lip/mouth and had to make him a new mouth. They also removed 3 lymph nodes, so we have to wait to see what the results are from those. For what was left that they had to work with, they did an very good job of his mouth. He obviously can't close his mouth right now because of all the swelling. Not sure if he will come home Thursday or Friday. I am exhausted to say the least. His surgery was suppose to start at 12:45 pm but did not start until 1:49pm It was suppose to be a 3 hour surgery, however it was more wide spread than they thought. He also had heart issues during surgery that slowed things down to be addressed. He did not get out of surgery until almost 7pm, He did not leave recovery and get to his room until well after 11pm also because of his heart. I had to work the night before and got home long enough to take a shower before we had to leave for Madison, so no sleep. I had to stay at the hospital because I was not safe driving home that long of a distance. Don was glad. He really did not want me to leave. I was going to leave at 2am but he did not want me to leave. I stayed and did not get home until late morning. I was waiting for the cardiologist to come but enuf was enuf. Instead of doing all the stuff I was going to do, I ate leftovers and fell asleep.

When I got up, I ran to Walmart before it closed to pick up protein drinks and bendy straws for Don. No verdict on if he will be coming home with a feeding tube or not yet. I was checking out and one of the two people next to me came over and swiped a card on my checkout. He is a walmart employee named Brycen (sp?). He had swiped his discount card. We started a very inspired conversation. They will be praying for Don. I will be letting Walmart know what a valuable asset this young man is.

Came and did 2 full sinks worth of dishes. I would have done dishes before we left for hospital but in this mobile home we only have a 19 gallon water tank and since I had to rush a shower and not use all of it, Don still had to take one. Sucks sometimes deciding between dishes or a nice hot shower. I then got laundry together and went to laundry mat. Don will have to sleep on the recliner because of the stitches on his mouth and neck. I have a ton more stuff to do but need to take time for me. I am enjoying a home made wine cooler. The rest of the stuff can wait for now. I have to go back up to the hospital in a few hours.

[Raeja]

Friday, Did another round with hospital. Don was told by Cardiologist that he would be able to go home around Noon. Long story but, once again, I had to get firm with them and let them know he was not staying. He can do the same thing at home and Janesville Hospital is only 20 minutes away versus 1.5 hours. Our doctors are very capable of taking care of Don. I said I was tired of driving everyday only to find out that he would not go home as planned and sick of it. I said he WILL go home today. All of a sudden, the discharge was ordered, the pharmacist was up to the room before the nurse told me, etc. We were out of there in about 15-20 minutes. I can hardly wait for the survey to arrive.

I had to run to the pharmacy here in town to get Don's meds. That was another circus. They said would be ready in about half hour, so I left to go there. Got there and told it would be 5 or 10 minutes. 35 minutes later one of the other techs asked who I was waiting for. When I said Meske, they hurried quickly to give me the stuff. The one who I talked to must have forgot about me.

Don seems to talk about nothing or to himself. He sounds really strange with all the stitches in his mouth, lip and neck.

[Raeja]

Tuesday appointment in Madison with his ENT doctor went well. Things are healing nice, stitches are dissolving. We have an teleconference appointment (thank goodness, I hate being in the vehicle with Don for 1 1/2 hour at a stretch) next Wednesday get results of lymph node pathology tests and will go from there. We went shopping for stuff for Don to eat. At least he was with me this time so he could choose what he wants to and will eat.

[Raeja]

Last Wednesday night, our friend Danny, passed away at the age of 82. The cancer spread thru his body and he came home on Tuesday for Hospice. I was suppose to call his wife/girlfriend at the end of the week once things were organized with Hospice to find a time to come visit. Then on Thursday night we got a call from Aunt Sandy that cousin Tami passed away, also to cancer about 3pm. She fought it for 8 years. She was only 62. Her funeral is tomorrow and Danny's is on Friday.

Don is still on a liquid diet. I wish alcohol was not a liquid, right now. I try to ration how much he drinks but friends keep bringing more beer because they know I am not letting Don get all he wants. He can drink ALOT!! Things are looking better and we will see our family doctor on the 27th (I think). Don can drink out of a glass now but needs his Boba straws to drink beer out of a can yet.

[Raeja]

Wednesday was NOT a good day. We were in the car ready to leave for Tami's funeral. Justin from UW Hospital called and said that they had a "meeting of the minds" and they feel the best next plan of attacki is radiation wanted to set up a phone conference with radiation in the afternoon. Sorry on our way to a funeral. Asked about Friday, sorry another funeral. We agreed on Monday afternoon. By the time we got to the funeral home, Justin called back and said Don's insurance denied it. Of course, they are out of network and too far away for me to want to drive. Got through the funeral. It was heartbreaking but there was alot of love in the room for Tami and her husband Ron. Saw Bob, the park owner down the road from mine. We also known him since we were kids. He had a doctor appointment and could not stay. Made the comment that it is sad how we now only see each other at funerals. I said it is, and I guess we shall see you on Friday. Shortly after we got home Janesville Radiation called. I told her to hold on and stop talking. We are not making any decisions until we talk to the ENT who did the surgery and get the pathology report. Funny, he called almost 2 hours early. I guess Radiation called him. Lymph nodes are negative but they want to do precautionary radiation, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Wrong answer. We will allow to schedule a consultation but will not agree to it. No reason to put Don through hell, "just in case". It is a risk Don is willing to take. I don't blame him. He is sick of "Full Liquid Diets" and I am not having alot of success getting him to eat. He is getting his calories for the Beer and he is already starting to smoke again, just not as much.

[Raeja]

Danny's funeral was the day after Thanksgiving. I met Kathy's daughter and then Kathy (his girlfriend of almost yrs) Then I got to meet his son, Heath, whom I have not seen since he was really little and telling him how His mom and I use to pick cherries off the tree when I was a teenager. Guess What!? Rhonda was there as well, only I am alot taller than her now. She even remembered who I was, after more than years. She was very special in my life and then She and Danny divorced. I almost started crying. We then did the casket visit and then watched the memorial dvd that was created and looked at the pictures. We did not stay for the funeral, it was really crowded at the funeral home and funeral would not start for another hour. As we were leaving, ran into some of the Fort Atkinson McDonald Coffee Clutchers. We had a short chat and off we went. I did post the inside poem of his memorial card as one of the quotes of the day, on Monday 27 November 2023. It sounds so much like Danny. He has so many awards, trophies, ribbons, placques, etc but never bragged about a single one. There was a picture frame of a Cowboy on the cover of Outdoor Life for Sportsman of the year. Kinda looks like Danny in his younger days but I never knew. He was the guy who asked for little but bent over backwards for many. He let kids come and hang out on his property, even when he was not home. My youngest daughter did that for years and then one day said she was not longer allowed there unless he was there and told me why. Don't blame Danny one bit. She and a friend were driving his ATV. Not sure what damage may have been done but I never did get the whole story.

Last night a little after 8pm, my phone rang. It was from my youngest daughter, so first thought was what happened now or what drama was I about to hear about. The first word when I answered was "HI" Then I heard Rissa and she immediately was saying that that was not her who said hi. I asked her who and she said your grandson. So I said "Not my little DJ" (he is the surviving twin) and he chimed right up and said yes. I guess he wanted a McDonald Toy before he would go to bed. Rissa said it would be easier to get the one he wants instead of buying a happy meal and getting what he gets to "ask grandma, since she works at McDonalds". Of course I try to collect some of the toys for the grandkids. I asked what he wanted and he said the Incredibles. I don't have those but my daughter seems to know more of what I have than I do. I actually had the display board of the Marvels but took them off to make more room in the little room so I can turn it into a guest room. I had to google which ones they are and will be digging them out soon and will be taking them to him in a few hours. Today is also his birthday. Dj lives in California and here to visit for a few weeks. Rissa does not have custody of either boy but they are living in money that we never would have seen.