Close

Page 14 of 29 FirstFirst ... 4121314151624 ... LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 281
  1. #131
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

  2. #132
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how.

    Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"

  3. #133
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    Teacher: "Can someone tell me what an 'operetta' is?"
    Student: "Easy. It's a woman who works for the phone company."

  4. #134
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    Author: Well, the upshot of it was, that after ten years, I realized I had absolutely no talent for writing.

    Friend: So, you gave up?

    Author: No, I couldn't. By then, I was too famous.

  5. #135
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    John: "My grandpa is 98 years old, and he doesn't even use glasses."
    Jack: "Wow, that is incredible!"
    John: "Yep, he drinks straight from the bottle."

  6. #136
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    "Do you have a dream?"

    "Yes I do. I'd like to quit drinking."

    "Well, do so."

    "Suppose I do, then what? How can one live without a dream?"

  7. #137
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    I'm great at multi-tasking.
    I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

  8. #138
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    Why is it always a bad idea to iron a four-leaf clover?
    Because you should never press your luck.

  9. #139
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    “Maintaining a healthy diet is a piece of cake.”

  10. #140
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    38,245
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    A repeat offender was brought before the judge, who said, "Haven't I seen you in here several times before? And didn't I tell you I never wanted to see you in here again?"

    The offender replied, "Yes, Your Honor, that's exactly what I told the officer, but he insisted I come anyway!"

Page 14 of 29 FirstFirst ... 4121314151624 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Doctors In Translation Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 05:35 AM
  2. Housecleaning jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 05:33 AM
  3. Anagram Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-14-2012, 05:09 AM
  4. Jokes To Offend Everyone
    By Admin in forum Jokes
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-03-2010, 01:15 PM
  5. Pregnant Jokes
    By Vineyardimporters in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-11-2008, 03:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •