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  1. #141
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    What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
    Guardians of the Galaxy.

  2. #142
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    My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes, Pete."
    I replied, "I'm working at the moment, Sir, I will send you one later."
    He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

  3. #143
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    An undertaker can be one of your best friends...
    He'll be the last one to let you down.

  4. #144
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    “I dug up a worm for fishing. It's the end of the line for him.”

  5. #145
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    A wife told her husband that he put football before their marriage.
    “That’s not true,” he said. “After all, this is our fourth season together.”

  6. #146
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    If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food.

    I could almost afford a small popcorn.

  7. #147
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    If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food.

    I could almost afford a small popcorn.

  8. #148
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    “Can new shock absorbers make a car easier to control? Of course - it goes without swaying!”

  9. #149
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    An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

    "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."

  10. #150
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    Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?

    A: A desserter.

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