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  1. #161
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    Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!”
    His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”

  2. #162
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    As the judge sentenced me to death, I tried to offer him a high five.

    But he left me hanging.

  3. #163
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    A manager announces to his staff, “I’ve lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I’m offering a 100 dollars finder’s fee!”
    A voice in the background says, “I’m offering 200!”

  4. #164
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    A woman calls her mother.

    "My husband and I have been fighting so much lately. I am going to come live with you again."
    Her mother replies, "No dear, he should pay for his mistakes. I am coming to live with you."

  5. #165
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    The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know why men always want to marry a virgin?"
    To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."

  6. #166
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    A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray.

    "Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant.

    To which she replies "No, it kills them."

  7. #167
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    Smile True Horror Story

    Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone.
    The person answers and it’s their mom saying, “I have a computer question...“

  8. #168
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    So many items are no longer made in America...
    I just bought a new tv and the box said “built in antenna”...
    I don’t even know where that is!

  9. #169
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    A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
    Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!

  10. #170
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    Q: What do you call the space between Kim Kardashian's breasts and butt cheeks?
    A: Silicon Valley.

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