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  1. #181
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    In the men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "Think!"
    The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "Thoap!"

  2. #182
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    Two students were talking about their childhood.
    "I was a very clever toddler. By the time I was ten months old, I could already walk."
    "You call that clever?" the other said. "I managed to trick my parents into carrying me until I was three!"

  3. #183
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    A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.

    He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city. But his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

    His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

  4. #184
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    "How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant.
    "Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"

  5. #185
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    Smile

    A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American.
    "What is it made of?" she asked.
    "Alligator's teeth," the man replied.
    "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
    "Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."

  6. #186
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    Smile Long Speech

    A man giving a long-winded speech finally says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
    A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you."

  7. #187
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    Smile Gardening Skills

    Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
    I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and Ive grown bigger ever since.

  8. #188
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    Smile

    I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"

    Such a random way to start a conversation.

  9. #189
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    Smile Operation Clean-Up

    Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
    Today Im putting a cockroach in the bathroom.

  10. #190
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    Cool

    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
    After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
    She says, "What's the story?"
    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

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