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  1. #201
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Smile Insurance Assurance

    A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...
    They assured him he would be covered.

  2. #202
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    Smile It's A Valid Point

    If con is the opposite of pro...
    Does that mean Congress is the opposite of progress?

  3. #203
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Default

    I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
    She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."

  4. #204
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    Default

    If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be...
    There's no need to remind her every half hour.

  5. #205
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Smile My Wife's Birthday

    It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
    She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
    I got her a magazine rack!

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