Close

Page 22 of 24 FirstFirst ... 122021222324 LastLast
Results 211 to 220 of 231
  1. #211
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Your Resume Says

    Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."
    Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”

  2. #212
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Not Good At My Job

    People are usually shocked when they find out I am not a good electrician.

  3. #213
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Handy Man 'To Do' List

    Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
    Turns out, he only does odd jobs.

  4. #214
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

    I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

  5. #215
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Default

    A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots, and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

    The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had."

    The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

    The guy answers, "75 cents."

  6. #216
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Operation Check, Please

    Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?"
    Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"

  7. #217
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Drum Solo

    The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes...
    And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo.

  8. #218
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Dentist Knows Best

    Dentist: "You need a crown."
    Patient: "Finally, someone who understands me."

  9. #219
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Shrinking Clothes

    “Darling, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes.”
    “No, sweetie, that was the fridge.”

  10. #220
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    27,485
    Репутация:
    1839

    Smile Working At the Office

    "How long have you been working at that office?"
    "Ever since they threatened to fire me."

Page 22 of 24 FirstFirst ... 122021222324 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Doctors In Translation Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 04:35 AM
  2. Housecleaning jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 04:33 AM
  3. Anagram Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-14-2012, 04:09 AM
  4. Jokes To Offend Everyone
    By Admin in forum Jokes
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-03-2010, 12:15 PM
  5. Pregnant Jokes
    By Vineyardimporters in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-11-2008, 02:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •