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  1. #221
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    Smile Playing the Game

    Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually...
    It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire.

  2. #222
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    Smile Australia's Biggest Export

    Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
    It's also their biggest import.

  3. #223
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    If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food.

    I could almost afford a small popcorn.

  4. #224
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    Smile Only the Backstroke

    Swimming Coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?"
    Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."

  5. #225
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    Smile Self-Centered

    People call me self-centered...
    But that’s enough about them.

  6. #226
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    Smile The Lost $100 Bill

    Wife: Why are you late?
    Husband: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
    Wife: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
    Husband: No, I was standing on it.

  7. #227
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    What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common?

    They are four ways you can lose your house!

  8. #228
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    Smile

    Husband throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even a single throw hitting the target.
    From another room the wife calls, "Honey, what are you doing?"
    Husband: "MISSING YOU..."

  9. #229
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    Smile They Call Me the Computer

    My boss calls me "the computer"...
    Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

  10. #230
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    My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
    MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
    I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

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