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  1. #251
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    "Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"

    "So you can all be really sad when I die."

  2. #252
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    My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
    After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

  3. #253
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    Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
    Guy: That’s when I went to Yale...
    Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.
    Guy: Thanks. I really needed this Yob.

  4. #254
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    Looked down and saw $80 on the sidewalk. Being the good Christian that I am, I thought, what would Jesus do?

    So I went to the liquor store and turned it into wine.

  5. #255
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    Smile

    An emergency call: "Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!"
    Operator: "Where?"
    Caller: "No, a regular one!"
    Last edited by SadMan; 01-20-2023 at 06:03 AM. Reason: Bitten By A Wolf

  6. #256
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    Smile It's Probably Okay, Dad

    A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
    "Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
    "Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."

  7. #257
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    One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage
    I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”

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