Reply With QuoteMy girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"
"So you can all be really sad when I die."
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Guy: That’s when I went to Yale...
Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.
Guy: Thanks. I really needed this Yob.
Looked down and saw $80 on the sidewalk. Being the good Christian that I am, I thought, what would Jesus do?
So I went to the liquor store and turned it into wine.
An emergency call: "Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!"
Operator: "Where?"
Caller: "No, a regular one!"
Last edited by SadMan; 01-20-2023 at 06:03 AM. Reason: Bitten By A Wolf
It's Probably Okay, Dad
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage
I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”
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