One-Liners - Short Jokes

[SadMan]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef.

[SadMan]

I'm at my boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at the coffin...
"Who's thinking outside the box now, Gary?"

[SadMan]

“Son, I killed 12 people in Afghanistan”
Son: Dad you were a cook.
Dad: Never said I was a good one.

[SadMan]

“My extra winter weight is finally gone.
"Now, I have spring rolls.”