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  1. #281
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Smile I Need A Raise

    I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.
    My boss asked, "What companies?"
    I replied, "Gas, water, and electricity."

  2. #282
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    Smile Short Jokes

    Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z
    How do they sleep at night?

    Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me...
    To get up and close the curtains. That's enough interaction with people today!

    If I had to rate our solar system
    I'd give it one star

    There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
    Push and Pull!

    I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
    They're an animal you can really look up to.

  3. #283
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    Smile The Two Reasons Why

    I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
    It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there.
    They have no wife to go home to... or they do!

  4. #284
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    Smile Reincarnation Seminar

    Last night, I spent 5,000 bucks on a reincarnation seminar...
    I figured, "What the heck, you only live once!"

  5. #285
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    Smile Logging In

    Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough."

  6. #286
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    Cool Going To A Nude Beach

    My friend bought a bus pass to a nude beach.
    It turned out to be a ticket to no wear.

  7. #287
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    Smile When We Were Kids

    It was different when we were kids.
    In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts...
    To make ashtrays for Mother's Day.

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