Reply With QuoteI said to my wife “There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween.”
She said: "Which is?"
I said: "Exactly"
After many years of marriage, I think my wife still finds me sexy.
Everytime I go past her in the house she says, "What an ass."
I said to my wife “There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween.”
She said: "Which is?"
I said: "Exactly"
My therapist said to write letters to people I hate and then burn them.
I did that but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
My wife texted me this morning and said, “Your great”. I replied, “No, you’re great”. She’s been in a great mood ever since.
I should correct her grammar more often.
My girlfriend wants to break up with me because she says I am unAmerican.
I could see that coming a kilometer away.
No Wi-Fi, Pretend it’s 1973
The coffee shop has a sign that says, “No wi-fi, pretend it’s 1973”…
So I paid ten cents for my coffee and lit a cigarette.
Ocean Leaks
Why doesn't the ocean leak?
Because it has Seals.
If I had a nickel for every woman who found me unattractive...
Eventually women would find me attractive.
Today, my boss said, “You are so talented! Why don’t you work on my team?”
Flattered but annoyed, I replied, “Im already on your team, boss!”
Boss said, “I know that, dumbass. I’m asking, WHY DON’T YOU WORK?”
Madonna is 65 and her boyfriend is 27. Cher is 78 and her boyfriend is 36.
Still single? Relax, your boyfriend is not born yet!
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