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  1. #301
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Smile Stolen Glasses

    To the person who stole my glasses...
    I will find you, I have contacts!

  2. #302
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    Smile

    My boss asked me: "Why are you always hiding in the office?" I replied:
    "Because good employees are hard to find!"

  3. #303
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    Cool

    Traveling salesman knocks on a door, that is opened by a 10 year old kid - wearing a silk robe, holding a snifter of cognac, and smoking a Cuban cigar
    The salesman is stunned, but gains his composure, and says, “Hi there! Is your dad home?”

    The kid says, “What the f*** do you think?”

  4. #304
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    Smile

    Amazon has started a new dating service, based on meeting people who buy the same things you do on Prime.
    It’s called PrimeMates.

  5. #305
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    Smile

    Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her”
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.

  6. #306
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    Smile For Dummies

    I'm reading a book called "Quick Money for Dummies"...

    By Robin Banks.

  7. #307
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    Default

    What do you call a fly that can't fly?

    A walk.

  8. #308
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    Cool

    I received sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend was struck off after 1 minor indiscretion.
    He slept with one patient and now can no longer work in the job he loves.
    What a waste of time, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

  9. #309
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    Default

    A guy goes to the doctor.
    Guy: "Doc, I think I broke my arm in three places."
    Doctor: "Well, don't go to those places!"

  10. #310
    SadMan's Avatar
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    Default

    If someone calls you fat , just ignore them.
    You're bigger than that.

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