Reply With QuoteQ: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
What do you call male ballerinas?
what is the answer man?
Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
What does a blonde ask her blonde friend who just did a pregnancy test? Were the questions hard? Did you pass?
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he drops his ice cream.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.
Because the night is dark ... and full of terrors.
Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man.
The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"
Mary Jane laughed and laughed... She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!
Dermatologist: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples.
Girl: Wow! That's great! Why?
Dermatologist: There's no more space.
Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.
Because the night is dark ... and full of terrors.
Success is...
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: "If i ever win the lottery what would you do?"
The wife's respond was: "I would take half and leave you!"
The husband said: "Well, your in luck - I won the lottery! So, here's $6 and get outta here!"
"Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church."
"Did you give it back?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it's a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer."
A grandfather asks his grandson: "How old are you?"
The grandson replies: "Five".
Grandfather says: "When I was your age I was six!"
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