Close

Page 8 of 18 FirstFirst ... 678910 ... LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 177
  1. #71
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his barstool and lies motionless on the floor.

    "One thing about Fred," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop."

  2. #72
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

  3. #73
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Bill: It was really bad in divorce court today with me and my wife.

    Doug: How's that?

    Bill: Well she cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook!

  4. #74
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Pessimist...sees a dark tunnel.

    Optimist...sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Realist...sees a freight train.

    Train operator...sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

  5. #75
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Q: What is the difference between a Fairy Tale and A Truck Drivers Tale?

    A: A Fairy Tale starts off "Once upon a time..." A Truck Driver's tale starts off "Man, you ain't gonna believe this shit..."

  6. #76
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    "Cheer up," the lawyer advised his recently divorced colleague, "there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

    "Maybe so," replied his despondent friend, "but the last one took all my bait."

  7. #77
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    His wife's grave side service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

    The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

  8. #78
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    - Hello, darling! Can you speak now?

    - Yes I can.

    - Then listen...

  9. #79
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    A guy asked for a goodnight kiss, but the girl rebuffed him haughtily, saying: "I don't do that sort of thing on my first date!"
    "Well," he said sarcastically, "how about on your last date?"

  10. #80
    SadMan's Avatar
    Administrator

    Status
    Online
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Milky Way Galaxy
    Posts
    20,393
    Репутация:
    1838

    Default

    Two adjoining barber shops were in a fierce competition. One put up a sign advertising haircuts for $7. So the other put up a sign that read: "We repair $7 haircuts"

Page 8 of 18 FirstFirst ... 678910 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Doctors In Translation Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 05:35 AM
  2. Housecleaning jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-24-2012, 05:33 AM
  3. Anagram Jokes
    By SadMan in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-14-2012, 05:09 AM
  4. Jokes To Offend Everyone
    By Admin in forum Jokes
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-03-2010, 01:15 PM
  5. Pregnant Jokes
    By Vineyardimporters in forum Jokes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-11-2008, 03:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •