The only thing you can do easily is be wrong,
and that's hardly worth the effort.

- The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster

Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few.

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Opportunity is missed by most people because
it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

- Thomas Edison

If you think that sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it backwards.

Lieberman's law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose
you were a member of Congress...But I repeat myself."

- Mark Twain
"Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind."

William Shakespeare

"When I find the man who wears the same gloves as I, looks like me,
has the same DNA as I, and has a history of beating his
former wife Nicole, then I will have found the real killer."

- O.J. Simpson

Since light travels faster than sound, people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

"If your mind changes itself fast enough, the result is vertigo."

- Jim Harrison

The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.

- Thomas Jefferson

"Sex is like a joke, some people get it and some don't"