Doctor: "This should be taken care of right away."
Translation: I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

Doctor: "Let me check your medical history."
Translation: I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."

Doctor: "We have some good news and some bad news."
Translation: The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Doctor: "Let me schedule you for some tests."
Translation: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

Doctor: "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
Translation: I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

Doctor: "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
Translation: I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

Doctor: "I'd like to run some more tests."
Translation: I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve it.