How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?

What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
Mr. President

I was really stoned & drunk at my girlfriend's house. I walked up to her and said, "You need to pick your weed up, mon. Someone is going to trip on it

You ever hear the one about the pothead that studied for five days for a urine test?


There once was a bud named B.C. He grew on a 8 foot tree Till one day I plucked him, rolled him, & smoked him. Now I can barely see!

One bong hit, Two bong hit, Three bong hit, Floor